triple nipple

triple nipple said...
RRW, I am so excited about you helping your children..... I am having this problem, I have a third nipple. Do women have problems adjusting to this. I am a widowed man and was with my wife for 45 years. She passed away 2 years ago and I am getting very lonely. I am thinking about dating, but I am scared of what women will think. Should I have this removed or do you think that it will be okay?

dear nippy,
i am very sorry to hear about your deceased wife. although it sounds as if you're ready to begin dating, i would caution you about dating in today's world. it sure as hell ain't what it used to be, fortunately for you, my brother, you have come to the guru of wooing for advice.....
let me preach on it.......

when it comes to dating, the rrw has been around the block more times than some paranoid neighbor chasing his own tale (dog eat dog). my vast experience will have you back on the tugboat to tuna town in time. so let's get to it.
there is no medical need for a man to have a superfluous nipple removed. so wear it loud and wear it proud my brother. i know what you're thinking, 'what does the rrw know about having extra growths?' but you would be erroneous. with my hand on the bible, i promise that i too have, not only an extra nipple, but an extra berry to go with an extra long twig. if you're picking up what i'm putting down! trust me when i say, that these growths have not been a hinderance at all. in fact, in some cases, they have added to the sexual circus appeal of the rrw.
now for the hard part; you will be quick to learn, that the ladies of today's dating world have a tendency to be a bit more agressive than 45 years ago. in addition to theses eager cougars of courtship, there is also the short haired sporty type. be aware of this one my brother. if a woman knows more about football than you, can chug a beer faster than you and has a rosie o'donnell tatoo, you'd only be waisting your time, so run like hell.
my brother, just come out to our revival to get a good, church going woman. but beware, there may be an athesist lurking. they are easily recognizable, just look for the geratric boy look-a-like with a stick up her ass.
peace out!