bumper butt said...
rrw, i have pimples on my butt, my wife is getting grossed out. she said that i have to get this fixed. i do not want to go to the doctor about a few bumps on my butt. she is really the one that is a bump on my ass.
dear butt,
t...t...t...the first thing i would like to know is, are you a pimp or a john? you see my brother, the pimp is the boss. the big daddy, and the pimp daddy is large and in charge. just like the rrw. the 'john' would be another name for the customer. in the scheme of this hooker metaphor, the one that is furthest down the totem pole. the pe-on. (sometimes literally) i'm sure everyone knows a 'john' that is constantly eager to please his wife in any manner necessary. a man that is told what to do by his wife, and with a smile says "yes dear."
let me preach on it....
t...t...t...this 'john' is a spineless nutsack. since 'john' has no say over what goes on in his own house, he is constantly trying to assert an imaginary power over others. 'john' does want to own the tallest castle in town, but he will never be able to build it. so 'john' must go around trying to tear everyone else's castle down. unfortunately for 'john', the voices will never let him succeed. 'john' will always be a miserable, litigious coward. 'john' will prey on the innocence of the righteous and attempt to intimidate them with hate and lies. 'john' will initimidate them so much, that they would not even piss on him if his flaming arse ignited. and needless to say, 'john' will never in his lifetime make enough friends to alleviate the burden of his wife paying the pallbearers at his own funeral.
w...w...w...we both know that this letter is not a question regarding some pimple on your backside. this is a plea for help, regarding your wife's constant challenging to your front side, and i would suggest that you grow a pair there. yes my brother, do not be a 'john.' be the pimp daddy. tell your bossy wife, to pucker up in observance of the mistletoe over the crack of your ass. if you don't act now, you'll just end up another 'john' being carried to his final resting plot, by hired strangers.
peace out!
2 comments:
Hello Reverend Randy Watson, I'd like to know what you thought of a problem that we have in our neighborhood. We have a pain in our ass at the end of the road. He tries to intimidate all of his neighbors. I think he is funny, lonely and has nothing better to do. He has done everything that his narrow mind can think of to try to piss everyone off. we try to hunt on property near his house, and he stalks us and causes problems, then will call the law and the gamewardens and say we are the problem. His new thing is that he tries to get warrants for anything under the sun. the counties officials have finally, finally, figured him out and they cant even stand him. He now thinks he is a great lawyer, but at the last case, the other lawyer had a field day with him and his lying ass wife. it was a funny show. I look forward to his challenge, i only hope I'll be next. I have people already lined up to testify against this bastard. I must scare him because he won't even get a warrant against me, although if I get mine, he'll get his too, and boy he is going to get a surprise. His last stunt was pretty low. He took his wife's tombstone and tried to blame it on us locals, because no one will believe his lying ass. He is now trying to get pity because he has run out of options.
yes, this sounds exactly like one of the 'johns' that i was describing. have you ever thought about kicking the shit of the bastard?? i am not recommending unprovoked violence against this prick, but the more his nasty-old-cunt-for-a-wife pushes him around, the more he will lash out toward the innocent. there will come a time when you will be forced to stand up for yourself, and that is completely legal. there is no need to worry about future litigation, as it sounds like your county officials are no longer paying him any attention. it also sounds as if his wife's tombstone will never be recovered. i wish your lawyer could have asked him, under oath, if he was involved in it's disappearance.....
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