love and war

Loving Dad said...
Rev, I have an 18 year old son that is getting ready to join the armed forces. He will be going to fight the war in IRAQ. I have had a talk with him and found out that he is a virgin. I am divorced from his mother and she and I have different beliefs. I want him to go to war a man. I have offered to hook him up with a experienced woman. I haven't been involved with this woman, so I don't see this as a problem. He is up for this and his mother is threating to take me to court. Does she have a case? I don't think that this is wrong. If something happens to him over there and he is killed, I want him to have that experience.

dear l.d.,
y...y...y...you sound like a real winner. i can't believe that you're first wife ever let you get away. the issue with which i have the biggest problem is the fact that you believe your son is not a man until he has gratuitous sex with some hoochie momma, quite possilbly infesting his genital area with a plethora of sexually transmitted diseases.
let me preach on it......

w...w...w...what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on over at your house? i would love to ease drop on the nightly conversations around your dinner table.
"hey dad, i'm going to iraq."
"son, have you ever donkey punched a woman?"
"no dad, but i have conquered dungeons and dragons."
"son, i've got this slutty friend that will welcome you to manhood and quite possibly masterbation asphyxiation."
"gee dad, you're the greatest!"

y...y...y...you had better get your tux rented for the father of the year banquet, cause i am officially nominating you. my buddy camped out at toys-r-us for ten hours, to buy a wii for his children. but you my friend are going the extra mile. you're shopping at whores-r-us, to buy something for his wee-wee. ok, maybe i'm being a little tough on l.d. let me speak to your common sense for a moment.

d...d...d...did you stop to think that there maybe a reason that your son is still a virgin? if your son is having a difficult time talking to women, you are pushing him in the wrong direction with a mature cougar. a sexual relationship is alot like life, you've got to go out and work for it. even the uggliest men alive have the ability to seduce a godess. look at seal and heidi klum. mick jagger. david copperfield. these men couldn't get laid if they crawled up a chicken's ass and waited, but at some point in their life they learned what they needed to do, to attract members of the female persuasion. you're son needs to mature on his own, at his own pace. if he does go to war, he'll be facing life or death situations. situations that he will need to conquer on his own. let the boy be his own man!

y...y...y...you're wife has no basis for legal action, afterall you said that your son is 18. i think the main drama hinges on the fact that she knows this to be a stupid idea. now, if you would kindly email me the phone number and a 5x8 picture of your friend, and i will speak to her in person. she sounds like a woman that really loves her county, and is willing to give a little experience to some g.i. the rrw has got some experience too, and maybe i'd be willing to share with a patriot like her.
peace out!