Pet Ralph said...
Reverend, My husband and I just had our first child.... We have a house dog named Ralph, he is very jealous of the baby and we can't leave him alone with our baby. How do we get our dog to be friendly with our baby?
dear pet,
leave him alone with baby? i know that the children are our future, but why in the wide, wide world of sports would you leave your dog to babysit your new born? not even whitney's that much of a crackhead. one of your problems, is that you have mistaken your dog for a real human being.
let me preach on it.....
n...n...n...now the rrw is an animal lover. don't get me wrong, i'm not one of those bleeding heart animal activist. in fact, i couldn't care less that some owl, out in oregon is about to become extinct. hell, maybe i would get involved if chicken was on the endangered species list. none the less, what i really mean by animal lover, is dog lover. i love dogs. i have raised seven from puppies, and buried some of the best friends i could ever imagine to have. but as much love as i have had for my dogs, i never made the mistake of treating them as anything other than a dog. in fact, a properly trained dog is so much more enjoyable for the entire family. obviously you can't build a time machine and go back and re-train your puppy, but it is never to late to start training ralph (if that is his real name) to be more obedient.
one thing you failed to mention was the breed of the dog. believe it or not, my actual advice would change depending upon your particular breed of dog. for example: a rott weiler, would have a tendency to be a nurturer, if you were having problems between a rotty and your kid, the dog may have to go. a chihuahua, on the other hand, would have the initial appearance of a 'bully', but grow to become very protective of your infant. a great dane would confuse the breast milk on your baby's breath, with the 'peanut butter parties' the two of you had, before you met your husband. it would be somewhat embarassing for your dog's 'tube of lipstick' to become exposed everytime you tried to naturally nourish your baby. you'd probably want to get rid of him because when you'd be lactating, ralphie would be salivating, if you're picking up what i'm putting down...
in reality, you probably have no need to worry, my sister. as the dynamics of your family evolve, each individual member will adapt to meet their changing role, unless of course you actually are leaving your infant alone with your dog. if that is the case, adoption may be your only option. although i'd recommend it for the kid......
peace out!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
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35 comments:
RRW, I am so excited about you helping your children..... I am having this problem, I have a third nipple. Do women have problems adjusting to this. I am a widowed man and was with my wife for 45 years. She passed away 2 years ago and I am getting very lonely. I am thinking about dating, but I am scared of what women will think. Should I have this removed or do you think that it will be okay?
Oh, please help me sir.... I heard that you had this web site set up to help those in need. I have just been to the doctor and I have tested positive for herpes. I have only been having relations with my husband and when I confronted him about this he swears that he hasn't been with anyone else and that I have some how picked this up from public toilets.
rev, i have been with the same woman for 15 years. picture this, a size 6 in a sexy thong to an elephant in a not so sexy pair of granny panties. i have thought about asking her to have that surgery, you know, the one where you lose all that weight. please help me with my "FAT" problem!
rrw, i have pimples on my butt, my wife is getting grossed out. she said that i have to get this fixed. i do not want to go to the doctor about a few bumps on my butt. she is really the one that is a bump on my ass.
LIVING IN IN-LAW HELL.....
RRW...PLEASE HELP!
i can not stand my in-laws...i hate going to their family "DIS-functions" and when i refuse i need to get some cheese out to go with his (my spouses) whining! IF i have to go how do i PRETEND to have a good time?
Reverend, seems I was the luckiest person. See, I live in this subdivision and the houses are pretty close together.
My neighbor is probably 35 years old, unmarried, BEAUTIFUL, beyond words. She has the body of a model. She doesn't
seem to know how to close her blinds in her house. You see, every morning, I sit at my kitchen table, with my newspaper
and cup of coffee. I make my wife believe that for an hour I am reading the paper. Well, I am actually getting the
best show ever. I am able to watch her shower and get dressed for her day. My son has now realized what is going on.
He now wants to be a part of the morning routine. The wife has figured this out. How do I get my mornings back the way
things were. I really miss my show.
Dear RRW, first of all, I enjoy your advice.....Now I need help. I have this co worker named "Drew" and he has a slight
crush on me. I do not knock on back doors and I don't pack fudge. He has made several remarks about the pants that I am
wearing and has asked me to go to bars to help him find someone. He even makes excuses to call me at home or on my cell.
PLEASE HELP ME! I know that I am not reading into this.
Rev, I have an 18 year old son that is getting ready to join the armed forces. He will be going to fight the war in IRAQ. I have had a talk with him and found out that he is a virgin. I am divorced from his mother and she and I have different beliefs. I want him to go to war a man. I have offered to hook him up with a experienced woman. I haven't been involved with this woman, so I don't
see this as a problem. He is up for this and his mother is threating to take me to court. Does she have a case? I don't think that this is wrong. If something happens to him over there and he is killed, I want him to have that experience.
Looking to buy a car! Should I get a Ford, Chevrolet or Toyota.
RRW, I have a wife that just can't drive without getting mad or flipping someone off. She just gets so mad if something doesn't go her way. She drives way to close and has almost had several accidents. I am at the point now that we go on seperate vehicles. I can't stand riding with her. I have almost been tempted to not pay her car payment so that they will come and re-po it. I am just afraid that she will start driving my car or ride with me.
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