exorcism advice

who's your daddy asked.....
Randy Watson, who's your daddy here..... I would like to see if you could come out and perform an exorcism? I don't live to far from the Holy Land.

dear daddy,
this is the exact situation, from which the rrw intentionally tries to steer clear. however, i can't turn my back on a faithful reader...

let me preach on it.....
w...w...w...what in the hell do you have running around your neighborhood my brother?? i haven't run across a whole lot of problems that a boot to the crack of the ass wouldn't solve, but it sounds to me, as if you need some divine guidance. ok, here we go....since you live so close to the holy land, maybe you have access to some holy water. we need some high octane holy water too, if you're picking up what i'm putting down. once you've secured the 'holy water', consume approximately three fingers.
now, to perform the rite, the exorcist dresses in his surplice and purple stole. the ritual of exorcism is mostly a series of prayers, statements and appeals. these prayers are loosely broken down into the "imploring formula," in which the priest asks God to free the subject from the devil and the "imperative formula," in which the priest demands in the name of God that the devil leave the subject's body. with the holy water already being used, it's now time for the most important part of the ritual, the laying of hands. this is where the rrw's ritual differs greatly from the orthodox version. it is my experience that the drop kicking of ass, through the goal post of life, is a far more effective method of deliverance. in other words the demon may be compelled to leave through the more traditional steps, but with the swift and holy foot of God, delivered by the exorcist, we will have your neighborhood demon free by dawn, my brother.
we need to meet up and practice this ceremony in great detail. i have an old family grave, on a neighbor's property, that i have the legal right to visit at any time. maybe you can meet me there on saturday to go over the rite. isn't it great how virginia allows descendants of the desceased access to the land, even if it is posted? not just access, but a right of way through the entire property. God bless america.
peace out!