undercover brother...by edgar allan bro

twas the night before hunting season, and on the posted land.
i'm looking at rusty chairs from my hidden stand.
old perv is walking around like the sheriff of dodge,
and i'm still undetected in my treebark camoflauge.
his paranoia is highlighted, by the moonlight,
but this time the crazy bastard was actually right.
the warrant was placed in my front door with care.
and i was looking at chunks through my crosshairs.
then she rides in on a bike, but where is the seat?
it's obviously hidden by her left and right cheek.
he runs to meet her like a pole cat squirrel.
but why was he dressed, like a catholic school girl??
and then i desired, as they embraced.
for a mental magnet, for a memory erase.
his skirt was weird and so was his wig,
his shreik was loud, he squealed like a pig.
i just wanted to escape, head for my church.
but instead i was witnessing deliverance, fom my hidden perch.
and as i shut my eyes and found my happy place
i could never forget that sourpuss face.
my plan went askew, my secret hunting amiss
my underwear was yellow, obviously from piss.
but as quick as they came, they were soon gone
i couldn't move, after what i'd been shown.
it took three days, before i could finally leave.
i saw a set of stones where there should've been a beave(r)

well now i don't hunt because of that secret kiss,
momma lied when she said, there'd be days like this.
all the hunters they stay away from that land
and i've never returned, for my reclining tree stand.
to make me feel better, the hunters gave me a purple heart.
but it's hard to enjoy when my peter can't get hard.
you may think this funny, or even absurd.
but imagine not being able, to shit a hard turd.
please pay attention, listen to the reverrraaand.
there is a reason,....... people post their land.