new born advice

Pet Ralph said...
Reverend, My husband and I just had our first child.... We have a house dog named Ralph, he is very jealous of the baby and we can't leave him alone with our baby. How do we get our dog to be friendly with our baby?

dear pet,
leave him alone with baby? i know that the children are our future, but why in the wide, wide world of sports would you leave your dog to babysit your new born? not even whitney's that much of a crackhead. one of your problems, is that you have mistaken your dog for a real human being.
let me preach on it.....

n...n...n...now the rrw is an animal lover. don't get me wrong, i'm not one of those bleeding heart animal activist. in fact, i couldn't care less that some owl, out in oregon is about to become extinct. hell, maybe i would get involved if chicken was on the endangered species list. none the less, what i really mean by animal lover, is dog lover. i love dogs. i have raised seven from puppies, and buried some of the best friends i could ever imagine to have. but as much love as i have had for my dogs, i never made the mistake of treating them as anything other than a dog. in fact, a properly trained dog is so much more enjoyable for the entire family. obviously you can't build a time machine and go back and re-train your puppy, but it is never to late to start training ralph (if that is his real name) to be more obedient.
one thing you failed to mention was the breed of the dog. believe it or not, my actual advice would change depending upon your particular breed of dog. for example: a rott weiler, would have a tendency to be a nurturer, if you were having problems between a rotty and your kid, the dog may have to go. a chihuahua, on the other hand, would have the initial appearance of a 'bully', but grow to become very protective of your infant. a great dane would confuse the breast milk on your baby's breath, with the 'peanut butter parties' the two of you had, before you met your husband. it would be somewhat embarassing for your dog's 'tube of lipstick' to become exposed everytime you tried to naturally nourish your baby. you'd probably want to get rid of him because when you'd be lactating, ralphie would be salivating, if you're picking up what i'm putting down...
in reality, you probably have no need to worry, my sister. as the dynamics of your family evolve, each individual member will adapt to meet their changing role, unless of course you actually are leaving your infant alone with your dog. if that is the case, adoption may be your only option. although i'd recommend it for the kid......
peace out!